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Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The Crucial Piece to All Your Wedding Planning Negotiations

Let me set the stage for you so that you will fully understand why the steps in this post are so incredibly important . . .

You have decided to plan your wedding all on your own.  You’ve talked to many of your friends and they all say “no big deal – you can do it” when it comes to the planning.  Weeks go by, then a month, maybe more and you are still looking at magazines for ideas about your wedding dress – forget about the caterer, photographer, etc.  They can wait until you find the perfect dress.

All of a sudden you wake up one day and realize that you only have a couple of months left before the day that is supposed to be the best day of your life!  You are overwhelmed by all of the things you realize you have yet to do and start rushing around like Frazzled Madge.

One week later you have made all arrangements for where you are having your ceremony and the officiant, a contract for the reception site, the invitations are in the mail, you have found a photographer available for that date after talking with 20, ditto for the caterer, and you’ve made the arrangements with the hotel for your out of town guests!  Whew, you haven’t had any sleep but it is all done and now you can relax a bit before you go on to the rest of the arrangements and that all-important dress.

Time passes and all of a sudden your wedding day is a week away!  You’ve managed to get everything done (you hope) and you really need to take a rest so you are at least presentable for your wedding.

THE BIG DAY IS FINALLY HERE!!  You are now Mr. and Mrs. and you are feeling pretty good.  Only a handful of glitches happened – none of which were big enough to ruin the day but it sure would have been nice if there had been one last fitting for your dress so that it was just perfect, oh and no one thought about a ring pillow for the ring bearer, etc., etc.

Before you leave for your honeymoon, there are last minute money matters that have to be taken care of and here’s what you ultimately end up with:

  • The hotel bill is way over budget and higher than you would ever have committed to. Several of the guests that you had booked at the hotel had either not been able to come or had decided to stay at another hotel.  Because you didn’t take the time to read the fine print before signing the contract, you are held responsible for any cancellations.

  • Since the reception is also being held at the same hotel, you are charged a surcharge for all guests who are staying at other hotels rather than the reception venue!  Oops – didn’t see that in the fine print either.

  • There’s an additional charge on the bill for all the extras that you had forgotten and asked for at the last minute, that were not negotiated up front.

  • When the catering bill is finalized, you see that meals are included for all of the service staff of the event!

  • There’s also this thing called a cake cutting charge!  What’s that?

  • When your lovely photographer presents their bill, you realize that all of the additional consulting time is charged at an astronomical price!  And you thought they were just being nice.

And the list goes on.  The bottom line is that when all is said and done, you are many thousands of dollars over your budget (which most times is taken out of the honeymoon budget), have quite a few gray hairs and a splitting headache!

Sorry this is such a long post but this or some version of this is all too typical of how it goes.  So how can you alleviate all (or most) of this frustration, stress, fights with significant others, and gray hair?

There are several things.  First, go back and read the beginning posts about the resources I recommend to walk you through every step of the way to getting you to the alter in one piece, and able to thoroughly enjoy your special day.  Whether or not you use a wedding planner, it is extremely important that you know the process, see how schedules are created so that everything just flows, and cover your butt while negotiating contracts.

CONTRACTS, CONTRACTS, CONTRACTS

Finally, here is probably the most crucial aspect of planning your entire wedding!  For absolutely every agreement you make concerning your wedding, put it in writing!  Even if you are in a foreign country which doesn’t do things the way we do in the States, get something in writing.

Ask questions!  The place to take the time to discuss every piece of information on the contract (especially the fine print) is before you sign it.  Take the time before every meeting with every vendor to write down all of the questions you have.  If you keep all this in your head, most of it will be forgotten in the heat and enthusiasm of the moment when you are looking at pictures, etc.  Don’t be pressured into signing on the initial consultation with any vendor - take the contract home with you for review before you sign it.

It’s a good idea to meet with vendors at least a couple of times prior to signing anything anyway.  If you’ve interviewed several candidates and done your due diligence (checking references, etc.), the selection process itself will take a couple of meetings.  Remember, you will have to work with these people from then until your wedding day and it will be much easier if you are compatible.  Several meetings will also give you a bit of time for any questions about whatever is proposed to surface before contract signing.

Yes, this piece takes the most time and can be tedious but trust me on this one.  When you take care of this in a businesslike manner, you will not have any of the above issues to contend with.

I apologize if I sound like a school marm on this but I hear from vendor after vendor about their frustration with clients because not only do they not know what they want but they didn't ask the questions before signing and were livid when paying the bill.

I think that’s enough for today.  Go take an aspirin and go back and start rereading some of the earlier posts, knowing that by doing so and following these steps your wedding day will truly be one to remember.

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